Dubai: A Lebanese friend of mine got chased after by waiting staff in China, when he was traveling in Beijing a couple of months ago. No he hadn’t forgotten to pay the bill, instead he had left a tip on the table before he left the restaurant. To his surprise, a waitress working in that restaurant ran after him to give the tip back.
“No, no, you can keep it. It’s for you,” said my friend.
She refused and wouldn’t leave unless he took back his money. My friend was confused, had he offended the local culture?
Many tourists share this confusion on tipping in China or in Chinese restaurants overseas.
The origin of the word ‘tip’
Though there are varied answers in the academic world, when scholars talk about the origin of the word ‘tip’, many refer to the phrase of ‘to insure promptness’, which was used as a label on boxes in English inns and coffee houses in the 19th century, as American scholar David J. Hoaas and Lyndsay Bigler from Centenary College in United States, wrote in their article, ‘The relationship between tipping and service quality: The other side of the equation’. Back then, “Customers would contribute to the boxes to ensure quick and efficient service.” Essentially, ‘tip’ was derived from ‘to insure promptness’.
Why do people tip?
American author Sharon L. Fullen concluded four main reasons why Americans tip, in her book, ‘The Complete Guide to Tips and Gratuities: A Guide for Employers Who Earn Tips and Employers Who Manage Tipped Employees and Their Accountants’. These could potentially be the reasons why people tip in general:
Following a social norm
Fullen mentioned that many adult Americans were taught to tip, because it was a sign of good manners and a polite gesture. The guilt of not tipping when you are “supposed” to, guides the action of tipping.
Economic awareness – a genuine interest in supporting the lower paid
She further explained that closely related to the feeling of guilt, people tip due to their perception of a lower pay range among workers in some sectors in the service industry, such as a bellboy. Interestingly, she pointed out, “Affluence does not guarantee this ‘share the wealth’ attitude. Generosity seems more prevalent with ‘working class’ customers – especially those who are or have been service employees.”
Gratitude for service rendered
Some people tip to show their appreciation towards the service they have received. However, some scholars found that tips aren’t necessarily always associated with good service.
I should mention my own experience on tipping when dining in a restaurant in the US several years ago. I was asked to leave the tip at the counter after the restaurant employees offered no service and showed no concern when I asked them for help to find a car ride back to my hotel, which was miles away – as a visitor, I didn’t have internet on my phone. They acted that it was my duty to tip, regardless. Tipping was virtually part of the price I had to pay.
The result? I paid what they asked for, because every other customer was giving tips. My experience goes to show that in some cases, tipping is no longer a gratitude for good service.
Seeking social status
According to several online reports, historically, tipping was linked to social status. It was a common gesture among the noble in countries such as the United Kingdom, to demonstrate their wealth. Particularly, the practice was imported from Europe to the United States around the mid-18th century, by Americans who wanted to appear aristocratic, as per a washingtonpost.com article, written by US-based reporter Roberto A. Ferdman.
Tipping in China
As much as you want to show your appreciation towards a good meal, or good service in a Chinese restaurant, tipping might not always be the ideal way to go. You will need to understand the current tipping culture in the Chinese community first.
In general, modern-day China is not customised for a tipping culture. You may find yourself in the same situation as my friend. And the awkwardness doesn’t only happen in China, the same thing occurred in the UAE, too – a while ago, I took my Western friends to a Chinese restaurant in Dubai, where they tried to tip to a Chinese waitress, as a way to say ‘thank you’. The waitress ‘battled’ to give back the tips, which again, puzzled my friends.
Company regulations
Xianbin Zhou, general manager of China Sea Restaurant in Dubai, shared his insights. “Many restaurants in China have strict regulations over diners’ assets. For example, if a diner left his personal items on the table, waiters or waitresses are not allowed to touch or take them. So, when diners offer tips to them, they will follow the rules and refuse the tips.”
It was and still is not a common part of our lives. So, in China, when Chinese people were given tips, they naturally would get confused.
Unfamiliar with a tipping culture
Most Chinese didn’t grow up with a tipping culture. “It was and still is not a common part of our lives. So, in China, when Chinese people were given tips, they naturally would get confused. ‘Why are you giving me money,’ they might think to themselves.
“And this confusion complicate things – they don’t know what your intention is behind the tipping gesture. To avoid unnecessary trouble, it’s best to just refuse the tips.”
Already get paid a salary to do the job
“Most Chinese waiters and waitresses are used to the concept of ‘I’m paid a salary to do my job well’. And Chinese customers are on the same page as them – the customers think that waiters and waitresses are paid a salary to do their job, thus they don’t need tips.
“In most cases, their salary is sufficient enough for them to live a comfortable life,” said Zhou.
See tipping as an offensive gesture
“Some Chinese may get offended by the gesture of offering tips,” Zhou said, “One of the most valued principles among Chinese is ‘self-reliance and hard work’ – we grew up hearing this principle from the elderly. Many people in China still live by it. Although in most cases, tipping carries a good intention, it may be misread as implying the receiver’s inability to make a living, which turns the gesture into an insult. This could potentially be another reason why some Chinese people refuse tips.”
Should you not tip at all?
The answer is no, you can tip and may be expected to tip on some occasions.
The concept of ‘tipping’, rewarding someone for their good work, was and is still in place in some occasions in the Chinese community. ‘Dream of the Red Chamber’, a novel composed by Xueqin Cao in the mid-18th century, telling stories of the rise and fall of four noble families in the late Ming and throughout the Qing dynasty, revealed the social phenomenon of tipping at the time – servants in the noble families were often tipped for their services on festive events.
Nowadays, even some high-end Chinese restaurants in China have started to accept tips, due to Western influence. However, slightly different from countries or regions such as the US, India and Europe, where you leave tips on the table, many of these restaurants put ‘service fee’ directly on your bills, as per a people.com.cn article, ‘Is it reasonable for restaurants to charge service fee?’.
In the travel industry
Tipping in the Chinese travel industry is different. According to Jie Deng, general manager of Easy Go Tourism, Chinese tour guides and drivers actually expect you to tip.
Take the tourism sector for example, tipping happens among our high-end Chinese customers. After they enjoy a quality tour in the UAE, they usually want to show gratitude towards our guides and drivers by offering tips. This is one of the cases, where Chinese would accept and appreciate your tips.
“In general Chinese customers don’t tip. However, with more and more Chinese traveling overseas, a growing number of them have started to adopt the tipping culture. Take the tourism sector for example, tipping happens among our high-end Chinese customers. After they enjoy a quality tour in the UAE, they usually want to show gratitude towards our guides and drivers by offering tips.
“This is one of the cases, where Chinese would accept and appreciate your tips. As a manager, I also think that our guides and drivers deserve some tips after offering a good service. They earned the tips themselves, so we don’t stop them from getting what they deserve. However, asking clients for tips is prohibited in our company, because it affects our clients’ experiences.”
Chinese businesses overseas
Zhou said that the tipping culture for Chinese businesses overseas is different compared to inside China. Although a certain number of Chinese overseas businesses still adopt the same regulation on tips as in China, many have accustomed themselves to the local tipping traditions.
“Take our restaurant as an example. Since we are a Chinese restaurant in the UAE, we have adopted the tipping culture here. We appreciate our customers’ recognition of our service quality and food quality, by offering tips. Our waiting staff can take tips from customers. In fact, we have carried out a system to register and distribute tips among all staff monthly. It’s a great motivation to our staff.”
So, how and when should you tip?
As mentioned before, you can tip Chinese guides and drivers in the tourism industry. As for other instances, you can follow these principles:
Observe your surroundings
If other customers are offering tips and the tips are being accepted. You can go ahead and do the same.
Ask the manager
You can always ask the manager in a restaurant, or a café to see what their tipping regulation is.
Ask the waiter or waitress
If you prefer to give tips directly to the waiter or waitress, then you can ask them politely if it is okay. Although, this might get tricky, because there might be a language barrier, and you will really need to be mindful to not offend or embarrass them.
Tip with a good manner
After making sure that you can tip, offer your tips with a good manner. Show your gratitude and give the tips genuinely and discretely.
