Where did manners go?
I agree with the Gulf News reader who suggested this week’s debate topic that children don’t show enough respect in today’s society. Times are changing, for sure, and the good old habits of respect, discipline, courtesy are quickly being lost. I wonder where they got lost, though. In school? At home? Where?
From Mr Ajit Lamba
Dubai
No time and no care
I am working in a school, and I am ashamed to say that almost all of the children at my school don’t know the meaning of respect. The fault lies primarily with the parents because they probably don’t give enough time to teach them manners and the meaning of respect. Second at fault are the teachers because, in my experience, they don’t have a care. Reality is hard to swallow, but we can change if we want to. It’s as simple as that.
From Mr Harpreet Singh
UAE
Teachers refine
First parents are responsible, then their teachers are also responsible to teach best of the best manners to the students.
From Mr Qassim Abdullah
Dubai
Facebook comment
Don’t force respect
I think parents are doing more than enough given the current situation! If the children know the basic values of humanity, that is enough in my opinion. I do not expect them to forcefully respect someone they do not wish to. For example, elders.
From Mr Pravin Sivan
UAE
Learnt a lot from father
We were all naughty and disrespectful when we were children sometimes. If my father ever saw or heard about it, then I’d be in for a “clump” as he would call it. One time I had done nothing wrong and he gave me a slap. I asked why and he said: “That was for something you have done that I haven’t seen or something you will do that I won’t hear about.”
Interesting man, my dad! Still, I learnt to listen to what he said and without those slaps, rightly or wrongly, I would be a lot less considerate of other people, I think.
From Mr Giles Heaton
Dubai
Unable to teach manners
As a teacher, we aren’t given enough authority and we are unable to put in our efforts in this regards. We are understood as paid slaves by the modern system! That’s quite foolish in this modern era.
From Mr Xeshan Siddiqui
UAE
Taught at home
In some schools they don’t teach good manners and the right conduct. Having good manners should be taught at home, by the mother. I have observed this from some houses where I have visited where children really don’t have manners. So what do we expect from these children when they go outside?
From Mr Zahra Mohammad
Ajman
Children raised digitally
That’s why I started my etiquette business in California! I guess we all have the same problems, no matter where we live. Thank you for the post, Gulf News! It is very difficult nowadays due to the fact that children are raised by televisions, play stations, and programs because we as parents do not have the time or desire to deal with our children.
From Ms Maryanne Parker
UAE
Teach yourself, first!
Earlier, children used to respect their elders because their elders were respectful. Children’s attitude these days is just a reflection of what they see. Now, elders are abusive, disrespectful and intolerant towards each other. You want to change your children, you must change yourself first.
From Ms Zeba Shamim
UAE
No manners a myth
I do not agree with this as I know many teenagers whose parents are working and many who are housewives, but they all are the same. I have personally seen them saying sorry, thank you, bowing down to elders and also showing respect. It’s a total myth what people say about the generation gap. I believe love and respect is always a give and take relationship.
From Ms Rita Shah
UAE
The fault of many
Many responsibilities these days are left to housekeepers. They cannot do as much as parents because they will never be the parent. For teachers, it becomes difficult to instil morals in children from different families of different backgrounds. Just imagine having 30 students in a class from different backgrounds. How would you teach them everything? Secondly, our children are exposed to various pieces of literature that don’t offer any guidance.
I do understand that these children even at home sometimes, they don’t show any respect at all to their parents. Good parenting is more important if we need respect from our children.
From Mr Ibrahim Hassan Segujja
UAE
Completely on the parents
The parents play the most important role in their child’s upbringing! If teenagers misbehave with elders, it’s their parents who are to be blamed.
From Mr Alexander Smith
UAE
Depends where you’re raised
Moving from Atlanta, US, it is protocol for all Southerners in the US to be polite as part of their Southern hospitality. The children grow up saying: “yes, mam”, “yes, please” and “thank you, mam!”
So, it might depend on where the children are raised as to how much respect they have for other people!
From Ms Diane Monet Nobles
UAE
Facebook comment
Good role models
It all starts in the home with parents. Parents have their children with them from day one. Learning respect starts at home. Being in a home environment with the parents as the role models is important.
Teachers play a secondary role as role models and continue the work done by parents.
From Mr Phil Jones
UAE
Learn by watching
I agree with Mr Phil Jones, children learn respect by watching parents and teachers showing respect to others. Every person in life has value and deserves respect.
From Ms Debbie McMillan
Orlando, US
Must learn morals
Children must learn good morals from parents and not anybody else! That’s the duty of the parents! Second, are the teachers!
From Ms Ako Na Nga
UAE
Parent teach basic values
Home is the first school and parents are the first teachers to each child. So, before the child is introduced to the outside world, he/she should be taught the basic values of life , which include respect, honesty and truth.
From Ms Kavita Rathaur Nagarkoti
UAE
Show courtesy, not respect
Let’s not confuse manners with respect. The children would have shown a person of any age good manners if they had stood aside. I loathe the idea that people feel they have the right to be respected. Respect is earned and not given. Manners, however, should be taught.
I wouldn’t tell my children they have to respect or obey anyone purely because they are older. I would ask them to show them courtesy.
From Ms Faye Ratcliffe
UAE
Influence of internet
For starters, limit your children that have been exposed too much to social media. We all know how much social media influences “netizens” nowadays!
From Ms Alison Cloyd Bautista
UAE
Parents teach, teachers insist
True, it is the duty of parents to teach first and teachers to insist to respect everyone regardless of colour, nationality or age.
From Mr Huchcharayappa Belagur
UAE
Teach common sense
If a child is taught good values at home, any negative outside influences will not affect him/her as much. As long as they are taught to be skilled enough to use commonsense and problem solving skills to make fair and just decisions, this comes naturally.
From Ms Em Dodds
UAE
Respecting elders very important
In today’s fast life, everyone is busy with their own agenda and they forget to teach respect for elders. This is the real truth. Both parents and teachers are forgetting this important aspect, apart from a few parents. I won’t blame the teachers for this. In their day-to-day busy schedule, they are not able to deliver this important thing. Respecting elders is very important. We all need our elders’ blessings.
From Mr K. Ragavan
Bengaluru, India
Editors’ note: Is there a debate topic that you feel strongly about? Something that you would like to see discussed in the community and requires resolution? Email us on readers@ gulfnews.com. You can also post a comment on our Facebook page or tweet us @GNReaders.
