Celebrating a wedding anniversary is like living the life of an expat in the Arab Gulf states where you do not notice that time has passed.

Friends keep posting pictures of themselves on Facebook with their better halves, looking happy and in love, even after the many years that have gone by. When I asked a friend what was the secret to a long, happy, married life, she cheekily replied that she did not know and was still searching for an answer.

I recalled the time someone I knew a long time ago came up and met me at my workplace while I was still gainfully employed. He was happy to see me and said: “Remember, the last time I saw you was 15 years ago. I had met you when I was passing through Dubai to Zurich. You have not changed much and have shrivelled only a bit.”

I thanked him for his kind words and said: “The last time you saw me, I was sitting in that chair at the desk near that window. Now, I am sitting here at this desk.”

“Amazing,” he said, and advised me to walk about whenever I could to avoid getting overweight. Only then did I realise that love grows on you as time passes, but to sustain a marriage you need to change your desk from time to time for a new perspective, and walk about a lot, especially if your partner loves shopping.

A relative celebrated his 60th wedding anniversary the other day and the whole family was invited, but unfortunately we could not go and sent the happy couple some flowers instead. We called to congratulate them and as I was preparing the question in my head about love and marriage to ask my relative, my wife double guessed what I was thinking and she quickly snatched the phone from my hand.

That happens a lot when you live with a partner for a long time; you know what is going to happen next or what he or she is thinking, and there are usually no surprises. Over time, you also begin to look like each other. For some reason, even if you are living alone with a pet, you also start to look exactly like your dog or cat; you know those long, droopy ears, or those sad-looking eyes or that crazy fixed smile; you begin to copy all those silly expressions from the pet.

I was reading the other day that the irritating Valentine’s Day is once again round the corner, where everybody gets all mushy and fuzzy, so I looked up some websites on love and crazy things and chanced on one that said, ‘Funny Marriage Quotes’.

Here are a few samples: “Me and my wife lived happily for 20 years ... and then we met.” (I am sure that happened to a lot of you, happily living in New York, New Delhi, Karachi or Manila for the first 20 years of your life, unaware of what life has in store for you).

Or this quote: “Everyone is born equal in life, until they get married.” (Once you get married, you have to fight for your rights to hang out with the guys).

This one is so cynical: “Insurance is like marriage, you pay, pay, pay and never get anything back.” (Incidentally, the other day, my wife asked if she should cancel my life insurance as I was not doing anything with it).

My English language teacher also got into the act and recently sent me this sort of a horror Valentine’s greeting, explaining the difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished’: “When you marry the right woman, you are Complete. If you marry the wrong women, you are Finished. And when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are Completely Finished.”

Mahmood Saberi is a freelance journalist based in Dubai. You can follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ mahmood_saberi.