The office. That hub of humanity in all its glory, brimming with emotion, tension, banter and back-stabbing; where dreams go to die and aspirations are trampled by reality.
Offices can be the best of places to work or the worst of places to work; each one a different landscape, a different habitat where some can thrive and others wither on the road to retirement; where personalities and cultures clash and coagulate over carpeted rooms, just like wild animals navigate their survival in the grasslands.
Just like in the wild, there is a strict hierarchy and reverence must always be given to those with the power to hire and fire (or kill and maim as the case may be), although this can sometimes depend on the type of office one has the fortune, or misfortune, to work in. However, in every office, you’ll find the same types of people: The quiet, reserved type who keep to themselves; the friendly, pleasant worker bees who spend their time trying to get on with their jobs in the vain hope of one day receiving the appreciation they so crave in the form of a pat on the back or, even less likely, a pay rise. There are the members of staff who are on the verge of retirement, who perpetually ask the younger and newer members of the office to give them a quick hand with a small job because, as they explain through confident laughter, they were never trained in all this new-fangled technology, be it the photocopier or sending an email. Whether these people are indeed the worn-out husks of their former selves they try to project or mad geniuses is another question entirely.
Testing the limits of tolerance
There are the social butterflies, the ones who try and encourage a camaraderie among their colleagues whether they like it or not, and of course, the bosses, and those who think they’re the boss, pushing and sometimes bullying other members of staff to test the limits of their tolerance.
There are the rare yet exciting staff nights out, the diet club memberships, moaning over the outrageous expectations of the ‘higher ups’, discussing the perils of paper cuts while loading and loading ad infinitum that horror of horror, the photocopier. The photocopier — that black hole of emotion, fortress of fury and temperamental as the surface of the sun — divides and conquers all who come under its reign, and sometimes boosting a real camaraderie in offices across the world by the shared loathing it ignites in those brave enough and desperate enough to take it on. A necessary evil, if you will.
Yes, life in the office is fast, loud and often stressful, but it can also be a lot of fun. As Christmas approaches, excitement builds for the annual Christmas party, thanks to the 12 months since the previous party, which is ample time for embarrassing antics to fade from memory. The Christmas staff ‘do’ is an annual ritual that brings people together outside the usual confines of the office walls and gives them the chance to show their ‘normal’ side or ‘crazy’ side, depending on which you have decided to present to your colleagues on a daily basis. It is a night that is laden with high hopes and a chance to chat with people over a drink and enjoy some food in a neutral setting. The perfect chance to make all new embarrassing memories.
Offices are strange and interesting places indeed, and now that science is telling us that sitting for long periods of time is as bad for us as smoking, the threat to the humble office is becoming all too real. But as long as there is paperwork to be done and people to populate them, the office will always be a wild wonderland of wackiness.
Christina Curran is a freelance journalist based in Northern Ireland.
