‘Mum you are so lucky, you don’t have to do any homework like us,’ says my ten-year old daughter. And I thought, am I? Does no school mean no homework for parents? No, certainly not. Only the format has changed.
For instance, we don’t write in notebooks, but we have to do practicals. We have to be on our toes to raise our children in this digital age. We have to put a lot of elbow grease to set clear limits for the usage of internet and social media and other digital gadgets. From time to time, we have to filter and lock certain sites to provide them online security and explain them the downsides of getting addictive to this digital world. But at the same time, we can’t shut them completely from these things as we want them to integrate with the growing electronic world.
We also don’t want to be tagged as helicopter parents who end up interfering with their children’s reasonable autonomy.
So we have to balance our acts considering the pros and cons of the digital world.
“Mum, can I download my photos on facebook?” asked my daughter. And this perturbed me further. “You see, it is important to keep a balance between security and privacy online,” I told her.
“Oh, mum you always say balance, balance for everything,” she grumbled.
Yes, balance! Balance is the crux of the matter. Not only in the technology world. We extol the virtue of balance in almost all spheres of life. In circus, our eyes are glued to the tightrope walker and we applaud for his balance. Balance is good when riding bikes and cycles, for ballet dancing, for chemical equations. It is good to strike a balance while choosing between butter and salad, spending time with gadgets and family. In all these, there is an implicit normative assumption that having a balance is a good thing in life, but is it always a best option in every field of life, especially when excellence is on target? Doesn’t sometime success become elusive even if we balance things?
I, as an author, while writing my book realised that keeping a balance between my writing, housekeeping, motherhood and entertainment couldn’t produce desirable results in time. To strike a balance, I was spreading myself too thin which didn’t help me to excel in the field I wanted the most. I was exerting myself to the best of my ability, but it was still a pursuit of mediocrity.
Then I realised that success is not about balancing but prioritising what is most important for me to accomplish and focusing in that field. And finally, I let my passion for writing surpass the other domains.
Yes, to a certain extent I cut my regular dose of entertainment in the form of movies, parties, shopping and kept a domestic help to assist me in my housekeeping. Eventually, focusing in the field I was truly passionate about ensured success for me. At the end, I realised that it’s not balance but true passion for the right thing which is the requisite for finding excellence in life.
Ritu Dokania is an author based in Dubai.
