Nneka Ebera: “It is easy to get depressed and let cancer ruin your life.”
Nneka Ebera, a senior medical officer in Nigeria, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 35 just a year ago and has been coming to the UAE for her mastectomy and chemotherapy sessions at the Sharjah Breast Cancer Centre at the University Hospital of Sharjah.
“My mother had breast cancer so I was extra vigilant doing self-examination. Last year, when I noticed the odd lump, I immediately booked an appointment with my doctor in Nigeria and a simple screening and bisopsy confirmed my worst fears. I am thankful to God that I had the resources to come to the UAE for treatment and underwent thorough treatment for a year. Now, I am cancer-free,” she says.
Ebera, who is a mother of three children aged 9, 6 and 21, says she looks forward to spending a lot of quality time with them. “It is easy to get depressed and let cancer ruin your life. I will not allow that. I intend to be a good mother, daughter and wife and enjoy life to the fullest. I am not looking at people who did not survive after cancer but towards people who have lived for many decades. I have great faith in God and feel He has a reason and timing for everything, including my cancer. I have just learnt to appreciate the smallest detail of life,” she said.
Ebera, who used to play a lot of badminton, has had to stop that owing to the limited movement of her right arm following the mastectomy. But she has made it a point to eat healthy and go for walks to keep in good health. “I have had tremendous support from my family and, eventually, I feel the battle with cancer is a battle of the mind, not just the body. I am determined to fight it out.”
Beverley Sutton: “You never think it could be you”
Even though Beverley Sutton’s mother is a breast cancer survivor, she never thought the potentially deadly disease would ever afflict her.
“I was actually angry when I was diagnosed with the disease. My family and I had just undergone a full battery of medical tests the previous year and were given the all clear. And I had done everything they say reduces the risk of breast cancer, including having my first child before the age of 30 years and breastfeeding,” Sutton, 49, told Gulf News.
The naturalised Emirati and mother-of-four was first diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago. Now a survivor, she says she never expected to have to fight breast cancer.
“I had never smoked or consumed too much alcohol, and I had breastfed all my children. In addition, although I felt mammograms were unnecessary, I had always performed self-checks on my breasts,” Sutton said.
She remembers one day finding a golf-ball sized lump that turned out to be cancerous.
“We immediately went to have it checked and the biopsy showed I had cancer in two lymph nodes. The doctor said I had Stage 2 or 3 cancer, and that I had had it for five years. So within days, I had to have a lumpectomy [a surgical procedure to remove lumps in the breast when there is cancer but it has not spread], then the doctors recommended a mastectomy [breast removal] to reduce the risk of a relapse,” Sutton said.
But Sutton did not like the idea of removing her breasts.
“They were a very feminine and integral part of me, and I couldn’t deal with the thought. Eventually, I did have a mastectomy though, and then the doctors performed reconstructive surgery and inserted implants,” she said.
Before the reconstructive surgeries, however, Sutton underwent half a year of chemotherapy, followed by radiotherapy.
“It is the hardest thing I have ever done, and we planned my life around the chemo because I would feel terribly ill for up to 10 days after a session of chemo. And when my hair fell out, my husband shaved his head and beard as a show of support,” she said.
After two years of fighting the disease, Sutton was given the all-clear for the moment.
“I was planning my first daughter’s wedding amidst all this, and it kept me afloat. The experience also brought us closer as a family, and I believe it left me a better person,” she said.
“I am still happy for every day that I am alive and cancer-free. After all, when I was first diagnosed with it, I just wanted to stay alive long enough to see my oldest daughter married. Then I began to look forward to other things and wanted to be here for them, and I just kept praying that I would be,” she added.
The cancer survivor now recommends that all women undergo mammograms regularly, as prescribed by health authorities.
“It isn’t even as painful as breastfeeding, and you can detect the cancer early and beat it. Moreover, your hair grows back and you can avail of reconstructive surgeries here in the UAE,” she said.
Fakhria Lutfi: “Cancer is scary because of the fear around the word”
What Fakhria Lutfi remembers is that it was hard to lose her hair to breast cancer.
“I was determined to fight the disease when I was diagnosed with it in 2004. I wasn’t worried about the mastectomy, and I knew I would do anything it took to stay alive and take care of my children. But when I began to lose my hair, it was then that it hit me how sick I was,” the 53-year-old Emirati told Gulf News.
Lutfi was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer in 2004.
“Breast cancer was not in my family, and I was surprised to get the diagnosis. So I went to London to get another opinion and it was confirmed. The doctor prescribed the usual: a mastectomy, followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. And I was on board, because I simply wanted to stay healthy for my children,” she said.
Lutfi, a mother-of-three, pursued her treatment in London for a year. She said she didn’t want her children to see her sick.
“I prayed to be alive for another day, but I also told myself that I would die when it was my time. I had long worked as a volunteer for families with autistic children, and I had seen their hardship, so the cancer treatment did not faze me,” she said.
Although her immediate family knew about the cancer, Lutfi, however, did not tell her mother.
“I could tell how her worry about me surpassed everyone else’s. So I wanted to spare her. I knew she guessed, because when I was visiting for a short while from London, she saw me wearing a scarf, and that I had gained 20kg. I told her some medication I was taking made me go bald and, when she asked more questions, I simply pretended to be upset. As for my daughter who wanted to know what I was going through, I just asked her to focus on her studies and not worry about me,” Lutfi said.
Finally, after nearly a year, Lutfi’s cancer was seen to be in remission and she returned to the UAE.
“My hair grew back days after I stopped chemo, and I made it a point not to keep thinking that I was suffering from cancer because I didn’t want to get bogged down by the thought,” she said.
Lutfi feels treatment options are much more advanced now, especially here in the UAE.
“It sounds like a cliche, but it is so very important to get regular mammograms, especially if you have a family member who has battled the disease,” she advised.
She also said women afflicted with breast cancer have to stay positive.
“We all have cancerous cells but for some, the disease manifests itself. If you happen to be someone like this, you’ve just got to be determined to fight hard. Remember, half the fear is simply because of the tremendous fear around the word cancer itself,” Lutfi said.
“For me, seeing families with special needs children brought things into perspective. I always feel like they have a much tougher battle to fight, and so I was less worried,” she added.
Sudha Subramanian: “I am not a survivor, I am a fighter”
Writer and home-maker, Sudha Subramanian was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014 at the age of 41. It was a sentence she had been dreading for a decade as she had a lump in her left breast, [and also because] her maternal grandmother had breast cancer. “I had undergone screening for the lump from the age of 34, had a fine needle biopsy done which was negative. After the age of 37, I was undergoing a mammogram every year. It was only in December 2013 that I was told that the image did not look good and I was advised surgery. In January 2014, the oncologist I consulted at NMC speciality Hospital, Dr Shetty, first did a core needle biopsy which takes out tissues along with blood samples. That was negative, however I went ahead with the lumpectomy in February 2014,” recalled Sudha.
The diagnosis turned her world upside down as she underwent mastectomy subsequently and she spent the entire 2014 undergoing the prescribed six cycles of chemotherapy and 17 cycles of Herceptin hormone therapy.
“I have an issue with being called a survivor which implies someone pointed a gun and shot at you, you ducked and survived. No, I fought this and feel like a soldier at the border, resisting the advances of the enemy and battling [them]. So I think I am a fighter and each one of us who faces cancer has a battle which is her own.”
Subramanian feels women have tremendous reserves of strength within, only they do not know about it until faced with a calamity like this. She feels part of this strength is the emotion of feeling vulnerable and scared. “The biggest lesson I learnt through this experience was to tell myself it was fine to be scared. No one ever told me it was ok to be scared, I am not ashamed to say to this day that I am really scared of going to my oncologist, but despite the fear I know I have to go with it any way, give it my 100 per cent because there is no choice but to do this, “ she said.
One of her greatest supports through this challenge was her family — her 13-year-old son Siddharth, her husband, her parents and her in-laws. She advises women to always take care of their health.
“Women take their role as nurturers very seriously putting themselves last as a priority. My advice is to first take care of your health only then will you be able to take care of those you love.”
Subramanian takes her life one day at a time and looks at it as a rare gift. “The clock is ticking and today, I have the confidence to go ahead and meet the people I wouldn’t have otherwise, do the things I would have normally put off for another day and start right now. This summer, my family and I spent a week at a Chennai orphanage which has destitute and underprivileged children. I have been meaning to do this for some time and have visited the place many times. This summer I said, that ‘some time’ has to be now and I think it was a very humbling and deeply satisfying experience for each one of us.”
