Child psychologist Devika Singh deals with the most frequently experienced concerns of parents regarding nurseries.
Is it advisable for a young child to be away from his parents, sometimes for nearly as long as 10 hours?
The answer to this long-debated question lies in the quality of care rather than the quantity of time spent in non-maternal day care. When the quality of care is high, it provides a strong foundation for social, emotional and cognitive development. Despite time spent apart, when parents can bridge the child’s external experience with their home experience, children experience synergy between the two worlds. For example, when parents learn the nursery rhymes their children are exposed to at day care and sing these to them at home as well.
How does this affect the bonding with parents?
In a landmark study conducted over a decade ago by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) it was reported that the quality of family functioning has a more significant impact on children’s development than the number of hours spent in a day-care setting. The study also reported that day care did not predict whether a child was securely attached to their mother. Interestingly, researchers found that regardless of the number of hours spent in day care in early years, children whose mothers were sensitive, responsive and supportive had higher scores on reading, maths and vocabulary as they entered school.
Many nurseries make tall claims about what they can do. What is the real picture?
The truth of the matter is that some nurseries do not follow the guidelines for best practices and this is a real tragedy because of the missed opportunity for development. However, government bodies are now aware of the risks and are setting and reviewing standards of care. This includes understanding the characteristics and needs of the pre-school child, specific education involving the arts, language development, physical development, social skills, mathematical concepts and general knowledge of the world around us. Although brain development is life-long, we know that the developing brain’s potential declines over time, making early experiences critical to a child’s development.
Nurseries have a substantial responsibility to fulfil, and when done right can impact a child significantly.
How can parents strike a balance?
I think it is important for parents to fully acknowledge and celebrate their capacity to influence their child despite environmental factors such as time spent in day care. At the same time, research the day-care facility well and ask if you could observe the setting prior to enrolling your child. Ask for parent references and read about ways to nurture your child so you can compare this to the day-care curriculum. Above all, practise self-care. You can’t provide good care, or seek good care if you are not gratified in your mind, body and spirit.
Pros and cons of prolonged contact with caregivers outside home
1) Parent bonding;
Pros: As cited in previous research, prolonged contact with caregivers does not affect the bond with parents so long as parents are sensitive and engaged with their children in the time they spend together.
Cons: If caregivers are not skilled at attending to the emotional needs of the children in their care, they can negatively affect a child’s development.
2) Social skills
Pros: Children learn through modelling and observation. A nursery environment provides far more opportunity for social skills training than a one on one setting at home.
Cons: If the group environment does not reflect pro-social values then the child would be exposed to negative skills which he or she may model.
3) Peer interaction
Pros: Day-care centres are trained in providing babies stimulating play, which may include interaction with other children depending on their developmental stage. Infants seldom interact with other children and depend on adult interaction as their primary source of stimulation.
Cons: During the formative years, peer interaction requires an understanding of the infant’s nature and environment which makes peer interaction a very individualised process. If this isn’t managed right it could create social stress.
4) Communication
Pros: The process of communication is similar to other elements of social and emotional learning. Much of it is learned experientially. Day-care centres have the potential to provide a very rich atmosphere to learn communication skills.
Cons: There are so many unwritten, subtle rules of communication that define individuals and families. If what is learnt at day care does not match the home environment this can cause confusion for the child and parent.
5) Discipline issues
Pros: Discipline is usually fairly uniform at day-care centres. Each child generally gets the same treatment.
Cons: Parents may struggle with consistency if they are tired, or unaware of effective approaches to discipline.
6) Diet and health
Pros: As institutes responsible for children, day-care centres have to follow strict guidelines, enforced by the department of health. This includes guidelines on nutritional guidelines for children which outlines recommendations for snacks brought from home.
Cons: Parents may be unaware of the true condition of hygiene in the day-care centre, exposing children to health risks. Since children spend so much time at day care they are exposed to bacteria and infections brought in by other children. Some health-care practitioners believe this exposure may actually be good for strengthening a child’s immunity.
Abu Dhabi: Young children can develop many valuable skills while at nursery, but psychologists believe that enrolling a child too early could be detrimental to their development.
This risk is exacerbated if both parents are working and are out of touch with what activities their wards are undertaking at the nursery, experts told Gulf News.
“Nursery education can be integral in helping children learn social etiquette and behaviour. But enrolling children in a facility before the age of three can cause them to feel deprived of their parents’ attention and time, especially if they are left there on their own for long hours. Children could feel abandoned, despite the presence of peers, and could eventually become nervous and neurotic. Parents lose valuable time with their children, and these moments could be used to engage in constructive playtime, moral learning and education. In the UAE, many expat families must have both parents working full-time to make ends meet. In such a case, a nursery is definitely a better alternative than leaving children in the care of an untrained nanny at home.When parents return home, they must engage in family activities rather than leaving children to play alone. They must pay attention to their children and help them develop a moral compass. Parents must take care to select nurseries carefully, and to ensure that staff is professionally trained and qualified.”
- Dr Yousuf Altigani, psychiatry specialist, Al Mazroui Hospital, Abu Dhabi.
“Children who attend nurseries or day-care centres are always prone to certain risks, and parents must be vigilant. If you have not spent enough time teaching your children how to socialise with their peers, they may learn unhealthy behaviours, including aggressive conduct. Children who attend pre-school are also more prone to developing seasonal flus, and parents have to be prepared for this. Parents must meet nursery professionals before enrolling their children, and discuss their expectations about pre-school education. Nursery education can be very beneficial for children, as it is between the ages of two and five that they develop many important skills. These include language learning, potty training and social etiquette. But parents also cannot leave such development purely in the hands of nursery staff. They must instil these at home as well, and reinforce lessons learned at the day-care centre. Parents should spend as much time with their children as possible in order to ensure that children do not feel lonely. They should ask their children what they have learnt during the day, as this helps children understand that their parents are involved in their lives.”
Dr Munir Iqbal, psychiatry specialist, Universal Hospital, Abu Dhabi.
