Dubai: Four years ago, Areeg Ehab, who was born with a mental disability, would walk away when she met new people or would throw tantrums and cry when she was in a situation new to her.
Now, at the age of 16, you see her socialising and speaking out more than other pupils who go to mainstream schools.
The sudden change in her life was not a miracle.
Her life took a turn for the better thanks to friendship.
The friend who inspired the transformation in Areeg was Michelle Thomas, an Indian student of the Millennium School in Dubai, who along with her parents decided to welcome Areeg into their midst, make her feel accepted, and positively influence her behaviour with the help of Areeg’s family.
Michelle, 16, and Areeg’s friendship is not a common one in our society, but it’s a type of friendship that will be an eye-opener to many and one that has helped change perceptions of disabilities.
It all started when Michelle thought she needed to know more about getting along with special needs individuals because they are as much a part of society as anyone else.
“The first day I met her, I saw a spark in her, which many in our generation seem to be missing out. I was obviously nervous because I didn’t know how to deal with her and I didn’t want to mistakenly say something that might hurt her, but the moment she opened up to me I knew our friendship would be a special one and I felt that something good was coming,” Michelle told Gulf News.
Four years ago, Michelle decided to sign up for a programme her school was running, which promotes interaction between children with special needs and students in mainstream schools. Michelle said she has always tried to keep an open mind about children with special needs and never saw them as people inferior to her or with a disability.
“It’s all about understanding them and being patient with them. When I see Areeg, I cherish every moment with her because I don’t see her differently. Her interaction with my friends and me has changed her habits in so many ways. She manages to speak out, communicate more and interact with new people without feeling shy and walking away.”
From taking her to parks and malls to celebrating important occasions with her, Michelle has endeavoured to help Areeg become involved in every way and has always found time to either ask about her or meet her.
“Children my age have many friends, but they don’t find the time to mingle with at least one special friend. My friendship with Areeg is a pure one, peaceful and innocent one, and it has been extended to our families also. Although we come from different backgrounds, we all get along really well.”
Michelle said that although she’s not able to open up to Areeg about things that go on in teenagers’ lives, “she’s so fun to be with and is very outgoing.”
Heba Maarouf, Areeg’s mother explained how her daughter was very hyperactive, shy, and would seek a lot of attention. “But when she met Michelle, a lot of good things started to happen in our lives.
“The real problem in our society is that children are not equipped enough to approach or befriend children with special needs. They don’t know how to deal with them and their parents put no effort to make it happen because they are always busy. Michelle’s family has been very committed to make Areeg and Michelle’s friendship grow and have put in effort to also help our child,” said Heba, who is from Egypt.
Heba said that Areeg’s behavioural problems were showing improvement by the day and her friendship with Michelle has in return made their life feel normal.
“We are happy to see our child happy. She feels like she’s a human and is surrounded by people who accept her and never judge her. Every parent needs a family like Michelle’s family in their life. A lot of children with special needs are lonely and no one wants to approach them because the community does not encourage that to happen,” she said.
When Areeg is told to stop biting her fingers, Heba said, she sometimes doesn’t listen to her, “but when Michelle’s parents tell her to stop and take the time to speak to her about it, sometimes even over the phone, she listens to them because she loves them as much as they love and care for her.”
Speaking to the coordinator of the Best Buddy Programme at the Millennium School in Dubai, she said that the main format of the programme is to encourage bonding between students — who show a readiness to reach out — with children with special needs from two special needs institutions in the country.
“It gives an opportunity for challenged kids to be included in other crowds other than their own. With Michelle and Areeg, it’s been one of those really successful friendships that made a positive change. The programme follows the international buddies programme and trains students on how to deal with special needs individuals in the future,” said Veniza Fernandes, who’s also a science teacher.
The school, she explained, also runs an inclusion programme that invites over 30 students with special needs every Wednesday to be part of the lectures and activities “giving them a chance to be part of mainstream schooling.”
“We’ve seen many challenged individuals being integrated in various jobs, so having children interact with them now is important for the future. Getting students involved with challenged kids has changed the habit of students staring at them. They now are tolerant and feel grateful for what they are,” Fernandes said.
She pointed out how parents with challenged children looked forward to their children having buddies because of the difference it made in their lives and of their children. However, she said, the friendships do not always turn out to be successful because the challenged child is not always very responsive.
“Areeg is a very cheerful and friendly child and was a perfect candidate for someone to start a friendship with her. She has improved in many ways thanks to Michelle and her family, who added something new to her life.”
Michelle said that her friendship has taught her many lessons in life and that she feels fortunate to share good memories with a girl like Areeg. “My most memorable birthday was my 14th birthday. I had decided that I wanted to spend the day with Areeg at the bowling centre and, when I reached there, I was surprised to see all my friends and Areeg waiting for me. I had no idea that they would together put up a party for me,” Michelle said.
“Our bond is an everlasting one and she will always be my special friend even when I go to college, get married and start working. I want to keep in touch with her and be with her in every achievement that happens in her life.”
Michelle believes that if everyone in the youth segment would establish similar friendships, the perception towards disability will change.
