It’s finally time to wind up that summer holiday and get into “back to school” mode; a time that is usually welcomed by parents and cringed at by children. While it can be a bit daunting to get the family back into the school/homework/project and assignment routine, in a way I’m glad that I won’t have to plan daily activities out to keep my son entertained as we did on vacation.
A new term means new goals, new experiences and new challenges, and we as parents go out of our way to make sure that our children have everything they need for the new term. I remember a time, not so long ago, when starting a new term in school meant giving my son a big pep talk about making new friends, learning new things and of course, getting good grades. In all my enthusiasm, I didn’t realise how stressful that sounded to a little child. The pressure of being in a new environment, being the perfect student and the perfect son can be more overwhelming to a child that we parents can imagine. This pressure turned to anxiety, the anxiety turned to stress and it didn’t work for any of us.
It took time, trial and error and a few sleepless nights but the day I decided to stop forcing my goals on my child, he became so much more independent and free to explore his own creativity and intelligence. This should come as no surprise to anyone, we all know it, but yet in our daily life, the you-have-to-be-the-best syndrome seeps in whether we intend for it to happen or not. It therefore became important for me as a parent to step back and create my internal compass to help me go forward productively with my child.
I realised that expecting good grades alone was a very low expectation. When I shifted the focus from grades and scores, I found there was so much more that these little children can achieve; grades is just one dimension. We focus so much on making a living that we forget that it’s more important to make a life.
I’d prefer to have a happy child, an enthusiastic observer and an empathetic member of society any day, rather than a student whose only goal is to top his class.
School years pass too fast; enjoy them! Happy “back to school”!
