It’s that wonderful time of the year when exam fever grips again. Homework, projects, revision — there’s always so much to do and the pressure seems to pile up as the years go by. And for those of you who think I’m preparing to write an exam, don’t be fooled — it’s my 14-year-old son who is supposed to be gearing up for his upcoming final exams for grade nine.

And, like every mother, of course I like to take some of the stress onto myself. But, truth be told, I’m a lot better than I was a few years back when my son was in primary school. There was a time not so long ago when I would start off the minute my son entered home from school, asking him to study. I religiously checked all his notebooks and made sure he wrote and rewrote every line that was being taught. Sadly, that strategy didn’t go down too well with us. The endless reminders and pressure to stay glued to books only resulted in power struggles. And we ended up getting no work done. Once he became a teenager, I noticed a change in behaviour. It’s then that I decided to take a step back and try a new approach using positive reinforcement and patience.

My friends and I often talk about this constant struggle we all face. All our kids study in different curricula but we all have the same concerns and struggles, but possibly different ways to deal with it.

After I changed my approach, I saw a marked change in my child. With the easing off of pressure from studies, his confidence grew and his creativity unfurled. I was amazed to see the well-rounded growth in his personality, as he took an interest in various activities, studying being a part of it. Today, he plays golf, music, he skateboards, had has made more friends, he interacts with his peers and has a life that I believe is fulfilling for a growing child . Our time together is more relaxed, with great conversations and a wonderful relationship that did not involve reminding and nagging.

Now, before every exam, I refrain from going into the coaxing mode and I gently nudge my child to revise his work. Making him realise that just a little more effort can get him better grades, just that one hour invested in studies a day at home can increase the possibility of a better future, discipline that can help him in various aspects of life. So much has changed, yet so little. He’s still reluctant to sit down and study, preferring video games, skateboarding, or distraction with multiple gadgets. I talk to parents and it seems that we have a universal problem.

So how do you, my readers, get your children to study every day? Please engage with me on my Facebook and share your valuable tips! @umagd