OK, I admit it, I’m feeling a bit low. In the last month I’ve had a break-up, had to give up my dog and, now I’m living in a friend’s empty flat while I find a new place. I started my new, single life feeling so positive and full of energy about all the things I was going to do — mainly get fitter, happier and more successful. But I feel like the first boost of energy has run out a bit and now the cruddy bits about being single are getting me down a bit.

First, I have no idea what to do with myself. I used to rush home from work every day to see my boyfriend and dog and, now, I don’t really have evening plans unless it’s the gym. It’s making me a bit needy with my friends — “hey wanna go out tonight? Tomorrow? The next day? ENTERTAIN ME PLEASE!”

It’s also soul destroying to start from scratch in one area of your life. It’s a bit like training for 18 months for a job and then, out of nowhere, you’re told that career doesn’t exist anymore and the time and emotion you invested in it was absolutely pointless.

As much as I hate to admit it, although I miss the man himself more, I’m also annoyed I probably won’t ever get to be a young, beautiful bride now unless someone is pretty speedy about sweeping me off my feet. Shallow, I know, but I can’t help it — I thought a proposal was around the corner and I was excited about the day itself as well as the lifetime of happiness afterwards blah blah blah. My friends even thought when he said we needed to talk that he was going to pop the question. I didn’t, of course, because “talking” only means one thing. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Anyone who’s ever spent all morning writing a document and then having the computer go nuts and lose it all knows that starting from scratch sucks. You have to go through the bit where you scream and get mad, then try and reason with your computer, then get mad again then, finally, grit your teeth and angrily start again.

And so, I angrily started again by downloading a dating app on the advice of my friends and, I can honestly say, it’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever done in all my life. I was moody beyond belief all day yesterday, purely because this app makes it seem as though the only men left in the city are, well, let’s just say they’re not my type.

I’m not against dating apps at all, but I so wanted to be one of those smug coupled-up people who never had to resort to swiping right to tell someone they liked them. Being smug is one of the best things about being in a relationship. You know, that and not having to shave your legs every day.

This dating app made me feel miserable. I rejected around 300 people based on their weird photos and boring bios and only “liked” two people. One of them liked me back and we had a really brief, inane conversation this morning until he stopped talking to me after I asked him if he lived in Bangkok. A tedious question too far, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I have a friend who’s getting over-excited about a guy she met online four days ago, calling him “her boy” and talking about going to see him on holiday. She’s relayed most of the conversations to him which have taken course over several hours of messaging.

I can’t help but feel it all just sounds like small talk you’d get out of the way in two minutes in real life. Plus, in real life, you’d be able to see his social ineptness, or the fact that he’s put on 20kg since those images he sent or that, in fact, he’s an 80-year-old man sending pics he pulled off the internet and he’s just looking for entertainment to fill his day. Who knows?

I’m not quite sure I have the energy for all this dating malarky again, actually. I’ve been dating around 15 years and only met two men I’d say were worth my time during all those years. It’s all a bit overwhelming. I’m quite tempted to just cut my losses, adopt some cats and be done with it.