Abu Dhabi: Out of every ten married couples, at least eight of them go through ‘emotional divorce’, due to the stresses, and pressures of having a special needs child, suggest experts.

Dr Khalifa M. Al Mehrazi, Chairman of the Advisory Board of Family, cited the prevalence rate during the second day of ACCESS Abu Dhabi, the three-day event is highlighting the rights of people with disabilities.

Explaining the emotional divorce that occurs between the husband and wife, Dr Al Mehrazi said, “Emotional divorce means the relationship continues but the emotions die out and there are no feelings anymore. It’s as if the father tries to punish the mother for that child.”

As a result, it can lead to a breakdown of the family according to Dr Al Mehrazi.

“Emotional divorce leads to negligence in the family, the family becomes a shell of what it used to be. The father will maybe go and look for another woman to marry and become a second wife, and so the mother then bears the burden of the special needs child.”

Many families also have a very negative outlook on having a special needs child, mainly stemming from the stigma it receives from society, as a result they feel ashamed and want to hide the fact that they have a special needs child. This often leads to abandoning or giving very little attention to the special needs child.

“There is the abandonment phase, mostly by the father, but sometimes the mother as well would abandon her special needs child and focus on her healthy children. Many mothers try to keep the care of the special needs child in the care of the housemaids, and these are housemaids with no training.”

The solution may be, according to Dr Al Mehrazi, a robust and forward-thinking plan to help families cope with special needs children, and to change the negative perceptions attached with having a special needs child.

“This is a challenge in front of us and we need to change this mental image, we need to develop programmes, and we need qualified people to work in this field in terms of guidance in helping these families. If we want to be successful, we have to adopt clear approaches and methods dealing with conflicts within the family. We can’t let that child be a victim, or a source of suffering and divorce, but would like the family to look at the child as a blessing from the heavens. We need to link it to religion and our Islamic values. We need to be leaders in this field.” He said.

Special needs people themselves also have a lot to offer according to Dr Al Mehrazi, and in some cases have represented and done more for the UAE than people without disabilities.

“Special needs people have great power, some special needs people from the UAE have raised the flag of this country more than some able-bodied people, special needs people are not miserable people.”