It’s a date in the diary that is looming. You know it’s going to take place and you’ve prepared meticulously. Perhaps too meticulously, because somewhere in the back of your mind you know that when it finally comes down to it you’re going to be petrified.
And when the day finally dawns guess what… you are! Your stomach feels like it’s full of lead, your mouth feels like it’s full of cotton wool and the only thing you can focus on is the sound of your heart thumping out of your chest. It feels like you have forgotten everything and you’re about to make yourself look foolish.
Whether it’s a presentation to your peers or your boss, anxiety about speaking in public is one of the most common fears people experience.
Having to speak in front of other students or work colleagues is intermittently unavoidable for most of us. And of course some lucky people relish the opportunity. Most of us though find it nerve wracking, because ultimately we feel vulnerable to judgment and open to the scrutiny of others.
Fear of public speaking has its roots in that broader issue of social anxiety. Ideally you want to show yourself as calm, in control and confident about the information you are conveying.
However, doubts about your own ability to do this when you’re forced to take to the stage take hold of your mind way before the event and begin to undermine your self-belief.
You keep replaying through your mind images of yourself thrust into the spotlight and waves of panic begin to make you believe that you can’t possibly put yourself in that situation.
Indeed this is becoming more common and it’s something I help people overcome with increasing frequency. This is because with technology we encounter less and less face-to-face social communication means when we are forced to confront it we feel the mask of anonymity removed. Emails and social media allow us to stay relatively remote and in control. Speaking in public makes us feel vulnerable to revealing ourselves and our potential weaknesses. So much so that you can literally end up tongue-tied.
If just the thought of getting up in front of people and speaking gives you the shivers, there are some things you can do to keep your nerves at a manageable level.
There is no substitute for practice. Distilling down the key words of what you have to say onto prompt cards will allow you familiarise yourself without having to learn things off by heart. Employing the help of a trusted friend will also allow you to run through without the fear that making a mistake will be your undoing.
Taking care not to over-prepare is a wise move too as this can leave you feeling mentally depleted right at the very time when you need to feel at your sharpest. A good gauge is to practise until you feel you don’t want to do it any more and force yourself to do it one more time. Having gone through this process your confidence levels will be given a boost.
The next step to alleviating anxiety is to begin to visualise yourself in the public speaking situation, raise the stress levels in a safe and secure environment and learn to bring them down. Breathe deeply, try to relax the muscles in your jaw, shoulders and arms. Be aware of what you are doing with your hands too as often we unconsciously knot them together as a physical sign of our inner mental turmoil. Picture faces smiling at you, listening intently and then praising you for such a wonderful performance. This way you have rehearsed the physical reactions you can employ when the anxiety levels begin to rise.
The night before, give yourself every opportunity to get a good night’s sleep. Distract yourself with other things unrelated to the presentation. Take some exercise and eat healthily in the run up to the big day. Stay hydrated and remind yourself that you have done your best and no one can ask more of you.
When it comes to the speech itself, force yourself to make a powerful start. Keep your voice strong and clear, take it slowly and don’t be afraid to pause and gather your thoughts. Look out at everyone and try not to focus on one or two people. Smiling gives you confidence as people will often mirror you and smile back. If you stumble, keep on going and remember even the most renowned public speakers make mistakes sometimes!
Finally, take the time afterwards to fully appraise how it went. Write down all of the positives and give yourself some constructive feedback on anything that could be improved. If you’re feeling brave ask a trusted other to give you their thoughts too as this will all help to build your skills and confidence for the inevitable next time. Oh and don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back!
