Ah, life on a farm… Sitting on the porch with your coffee, watching the sun rise and cast its golden glow over your crops. Coming back to the farmhouse for a hearty lunch after some backbreaking work in the fields. Harvesting your wheat after running a hand through it in your best Russel Crowe impersonation. The smell of manure and money. The guard dogs. The electric fencing and perimeter alarms. The rifle and pistol beside the bed. The ever-present fear of being attacked by heavily-armed, murderous gangs…
Okay, so life on a South African farm is a bit different from the idyllic idea Farming Simulator games try to bring to life - South African Farming Simulator would actually be some strange combination of Farmville and Call of Duty.
Luckily (or not, depending on your perspective), this isn’t the type of game we’re looking at.
Farming Simulator 17 (FS17), the latest game in the long-running franchise by developer Giants Software, pretty much does what it says in the title: it simulates life as a farmer. You start off with old machinery, a small farm and not a lot of money. It’s up to you to get into one of your various farming vehicles, and use it to do the things that farming vehicles do (is it obvious that I’ve never been on a farm?).
I’m reliably informed that the things they do in real life are pretty authentically simulated in the real game.
I don’t know how hard it is to drive an actual tractor, but driving one in the game takes some getting used to. It took me about 11 attempts to finally position my trailer where I wanted it in front of one of those iconic red barns you see in every movie depiction of an American farm.
But the physical labour inherent in farm life is only one half of life as a farmer or FS17 player. Planting and harvesting is all well and good, but are you sure that soy wouldn’t be a more profitable crop than corn?
To be a successful farmer, one who makes enough money to expand their operation and buy some of the more than 250 meticulously recreated and officially licensed farming vehicles and equipment, you have to actually do some thinking and planning.
You had better keep an eye on fluctuating market prices to ensure that you’re getting a good return on your investment of seeds, sweat and diesel. Fertiliser isn’t cheap, so planting sunflowers when soybeans would have been more profitable in the current market could mean that you won’t be able to afford the latest offerings from Challenger, Fendt, Valtra or Massey Ferguson (I assume they’re a bit like the Ferraris or Aston Martins of the farming world).
But play your cards right and you can make a killing, expanding your tiny subsistence operation into a grand farming empire.
Like the best games of this type, FS17 makes you feel that this is all within your reach if you manage everything properly. Something which, I admit, I cannot do. I will never be the next [insert name of famous farmer here].
But if you think you have what it takes to turn chickens and sheep into cash, then this is the game for you. It even allows you to play online with others who share your passion for the ways of agriculture, and it supports community-created mods.
Me, I’ll stick to Halo; I’m sure they have robots to do the farming in the 26th century.
Bottom Line: If you think Farmville is for filthy casuals, this is the game for you.
Rating: 8.5/10
