Tantrums amongst toddlers may sometimes be a cause for concern and panic amongst parents who find it challenging to handle these sporadic instances, especially in public.
Tantrums are a common phenomenon amongst children after the age of one year where they might resort to kicking, screaming, crying or shutdown to comprehend any instructions you might give. It is here where you must remain calm, no matter the circumstance and understand your child is going through an emotional reaction which sometimes is out of their control too! They usually occur when your toddler is unable to express their feelings causing frustration resulting in a tantrum.
While handling a tantrum outdoors with the prying eyes of parents judging your every move maybe a daunting task. Here are 5 tactics to ride out the storm:
Stop any harmful behavior
Sometimes a tantrum may result in your child becoming violent either with themselves or others. The first step to managing a tantrum is to make your child stop any potentially harmful behavior which may get them hurt. Approach the situation quickly and calmly while making sure not to raise your voice and show if you are upset.
Your child will pick up on your reactions, hence if you are calm it is more likely your child will see this and attempt the same. However, a screaming and raging behavior will only upset your child even further.
Never shout or use physical force
In a tense situation it is easy to lose ones temper or react in a hostile manner, and a temper tantrum episode surely qualifies as one of those situations. Your reaction to this is of utmost importance.
Do not shout at your child as this encourages the ‘fight or flight’ survival mode to kick in and makes them experience life through a hostile environment forcing them to be on a heightened state of alert where they resist interacting positively at home or with peers. If you use physical force your child sees that it is ok to handle a situation using hands instead of words.
This behavior then transcends at nursery and other social settings too.
Change the setting
Your child may be in a crowded restaurant and has decided to get into a screaming match, do not try and reprimand them at this point as it will make the situation more tense, which is the last thing you would want.
Pick up the child form the scene, you may take them in another room or in the parking lot to your car or another venue where you may begin to make your child understand the situation and help them resolve their emotions in a more calm setting.
Switch it up
While having a tantrum a child is forced into extreme emotional behavior and this might consume them totally. The most effective strategy would be to switch their attention from what they are upset about to something totally different. Children have a short attention span which allows them to be easily distracted. So instead of mulling over the situation or analyzing it to bits during a tantrum, just switch it up!
Show them a toy they haven’t seen in a while or pretend to get fascinated with something in the environment such as, “Oh, look at how tall that tree is! I wonder if we can climb it together.” Act silly and whimsical and your child will soon join in and forget why they we’re having a tantrum anyway!
Track unwanted behavior
Being tired or hungry is the number one trigger for temper tantrums in children. A great way to deal with tantrums is to figure out why and when they occur. There usually will be a common thread of situations, or triggers which result in your child losing control. For example, if your child hates bath time, your child may start a tantrum if they sense it is bath time or if your child is tired and you still want to squeeze in one last errand your child may resort to a tantrum.
Gauge what upsets your child and tackle that in order to avoid a meltdown. Focus on the reasons causing the behavior and make a note of it so you are prepared to handle the situation.
During tantrums is when your child needs you the most, although it might be difficult, but showing affection and helping your child through this experience with compassion is your best tool.
- Sanobar Mistry is a published journalist and currently a kindergarten teacher in Dubai.
