School is a rite of passage where we go to learn new things every day, discover our identities, develop passions, dream and absorb knowledge. Yet, for some school is stressful. It can be a cause of anxiety, where friends become enemies, strangers become bullies and you cannot wait to graduate.
Can children really be stressed?
Stress is often described as the body’s physical, chemical, and emotional reaction to an overwhelming, confusing, or exciting situation. Though their lives may seem simple, children of all ages can experience stress. Not all childhood stress is harmful. Children experience stress at different life stages, especially during transitional periods of development, such as learning to walk, talk, using the toilet, going to school and making new friends. This is actually a productive form of anxiety because it helps a child grow and become more independent.
Life-change stress, on the other hand, is typically more confusing and upsetting for children. “Children are not immune to stress, irrespective of their nationality or the country they live in, kids across the globe are affected by stress,” says Dr Adel Karrani, Consultant Psychiatrist, Deputy CEO, American Centre for Psychiatry and Neurology. “Mental illness affects everybody in the same manner. These days the most common mental health issue affecting children in UAE schools is Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).”
ADHD is typically characterised by inattention and impulsiveness. “According to recent research, approximately one or two children in every class are affected by this,” says Dr Karrani. “It is important that schools prepare for this and train teachers and shadow teachers to be on a look out for telltale signs among the kids in their class and how to act to manage them. Awareness is the key to identifying ADHD and then ensuring that these kids receive help from a trained psychologist or psychiatrist in a timely manner.”
As a counselling psychologist at The LightHouse Wellbeing Center, Madeeha Afridi works with individuals of all ages. “My child clients’ ages range between four and 18 years old. Some of my colleagues work with kids as young as 18 months old who are presenting mental health concerns. Stress in minors does not just impact the child, it can have a domino effect on the entire family in regards to the overall sense of safety and security in the home environment.”
Adjusting to a new country
Moving to a different country can be stressful for youngsters, especially in a country like UAE, which has a transient population. Every summer, families depart back to their home country and new families land in tow with their kids, meaning they lose friends. Stress in some children can also be due to the challenges they are having in adjusting to a new country and trying to settle into a new place.
In Dubai, the other common issues that cause stress for kids these days is the lack of balance between home, school, and personal life, anxiety, depression, low moods, a lack of focus due to excessive use of technology and bullying.
“In recent times, I have noticed a rise in mental health issues with children, mainly due to the high levels of stress that stems from their school environment,” says Afridi. In certain cases there is increased pressure from schools to meet certain standards; in other cases strict and demanding teachers add to the pressures a child faces. In some schools the increased homework makes kids anxious while in other cases these children are dealing with peer pressure both on the academic front and the need to perform well in out-of-school activities.
Is bullying an issue in schools?
These days, talk to any child about school and some of them will tell you that it is one of the most stressful periods in their lives. Take ten-year-old Pratap Singh Gill, who studies at a popular Indian school in Dubai. He says tough subjects and the pressure on homework stresses him out in the classroom, but on the playground he has to deal with friends who sometimes bully him because he is not fast enough. “It initially bothered me that my friends made fun of me as I was a slow runner then I spoke to my parents and we talked about bullying and how to react in the face of bullying,” says Pratap. “I am fine now.”
Afridi says, “We have noticed that bullying in schools is more of an issue where the adult child ratio is low. Additionally, with the excessive rise in the use of technology, children are struggling with short attention spans as well as low self-esteem. Kids these days are also learning to live in new family structures where their parents may be separated or divorced.”
Mental symptoms of stress
If chronic stress is ignored for long enough, it can eventually lead to mental and physical breakdowns and even depression. The effects of stress only get worse as time goes on so the most effective interventions are those that begin early. This is most likely to happen when the underlying causes of stress, as well as the warning signs, are understood properly, both by the students themselves and by the faculty.
Stress symptoms
- Irritability
- Loss of concentration
- Loss of interest in friends
- Difficulty in making decisions
- Lack of motivation
- Feeling guilty or inadequate
- Feeling helpless or a failure
- A loss of interest in relationships and in activities that you sufferer used to enjoy
- A sharp decline in grades
- Becoming more aggressive or more emotional than normal
- Becoming more isolated by choice
- Missing assignments
How to tackle stress in your family
The key to helping kids manage stress is teaching them to problem-solve, plan and know when to say yes and no to activities and commitments. But, as parents there are ground rules and routines that need to be in place. Some tips to tackling stress in your family include:
- Meet the child’s physiological needs with nutritious food, water and an adequate amount of sleep
- Create a structure for home, school and personal time
- Kiss your kids, make them feel loved and secure enough to discuss any problems they may have
- Schedule regular physical activity for the children
- Set aside time for hobbies, such as reading a book or listening to music
- Socialise with family and friends more often
- Monitor your child’s technology usage and manage the time they spend on different devices
- Attend workshops and seminars to learn tools to increase their awareness about issues faced and solutions for concerns they are experiencing.
- Make time for yourself as parents, so you are not neglecting yourself and your self-care, which can have a direct impact on your children, as well as the home environment
- Try relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, tai chi or getting a massage
