Manchester United (football)
Supported predominantly by fans who have never set foot in Manchester, managed by a petulant Scotsman with a God-complex and backed by distant American owners who have alienated the club’s genuine fans, Manchester United garner more hatred than a corrupt politician. Of course, it doesn’t help that they win every trophy in sight.
Australia (cricket)
The masters of ‘sledging’ (ie, verbally disparaging your opponent in an attempt to put him off his game), the Aussies are seen by many cricket-lovers as a bunch of swaggering, uncouth, loud-mouthed upstarts. Shane Warne once told South African bowler Daryl Cullinan: “I've been waiting two years for the opportunity to humiliate you in front of your own crowd.” But Cullinan had the last laugh, replying: “Looks like you spent it eating.” Howzat, Shane!
South Africa (Rugby)
In Bakkies Botha, Victor Matfield and Schalke Burger, the Springboks have a tough-as-teak trio of rugby rogues, prone to a bit of eye-gouging when the occasion demands it (Botha and Burger have both been cited in the past), and not averse to throwing the odd punch when things get acrimonious on the pitch either. Aside from their own fans, no one in the rugby world likes the brutal Boks.
Uruguay (football)
Why do we hate Uruguay? Because here is a country where a tackle isn’t a tackle until blood has been spilled and shin bones have been splintered. Or at least that seems to have been the team’s philosophy in the past, when the opposition would shudder at the thought of facing the South American slaughterers. At the 2010 World Cup no one batted an eyelid when the first player to get a red card was a Uruguay player.
Manchester City (football)
Moneybags Manchester City are probably more envied than hated, thanks to their seemingly unlimited spending power. Still, give them time. When their trophy cabinet starts to accumulate cups the way Uruguay accumulate red cards, the whole football world will transfer their ire from the red to the blue half of the city. Not that City will care one iota.
Germany (football)
Despite their World Cup success over the years, the Germans aren’t exactly doted on outside their own country. Maybe it’s their unattractive ‘route one’ playing style or an innate arrogance that seems to sow a seed of doubt in opponents minds before a whistle has been blown. Whatever it is, the Germany football team is about as loved as a loaf of stale pumpernickel.
Real Madrid (Football)
Real Madrid used to be adored the world over for their all-star line-up (known as the ‘Galacticos’) and sublime attacking football. Now they’re wallowing in the shadow of bitter rivals Barcelona, with self-proclaimed ‘special’ coach Jose Mourinho jabbing his fingers into the eyes of rival coaches and primadonna Ronaldo whining like an arthritic old woman. No wonder nobody likes them anymore.
Italy (football)
The Italians are dull, defensive maestros, strangling the opposition with their tough tackling and ball retention before stealing a late win with a single, toe-poked goal (three-nil wins in Italy are as rare as Halloween parties in the Vatican City). Worse than that, your other half probably swoons over the whole team because they look like brooding Versace underwear models and have an impeccable dress sense. Frankly, we’d like to poison their pizzas.
New Zealand (Rugby)
There are times when New Zealand are so darn good, annihilating teams to the point of embarrassment, that it’s impossible not to hate them. At times like this, the pre-match ‘haka’ war-dance becomes more of a ceremony mocking the opposition than an invitation to battle. We’ll hate them even more if they win the World Cup at a canter, as many experts are predicting.
England (Rugby)
The England rugby team is anathema to those who prefer a free-flowing game to a brutal, ball-up-the-jumper wrestling match. After a rare victory against New Zealand in 2003, England, who won the game thanks to the boot of Jonny Wilkinson (they didn’t score a single try), were labelled a “tribe of white orcs on steroids” by Kiwi journalist Michael Laws. Also, at every important England game, the TV cameras manage to find in the crowd a smug-looking Prince Harry – easily the most irritating member of the British Royal Family.
