Sitting on a train for three hours without a book, an MP3 player or a phone doesn't seem like it will be time well spent. In fact, it seems like it will be time spent gazing out of the window to building sites and getting irritable over screaming babies. Well, this is the situation I found myself in last week; alone on the train with no distractions while it inched its way along the tracks due to maintenance work (the joys of being back in the UK).
I was the only person sitting alone with no "armour". So I was forced to think. This is always a bad idea, as it inevitably results in another change of my life plans. This alone time did get me wondering when the last time I really sat down and listened to myself was. Most of the time there's not a whole lot to listen to; I think a lot about breakfast, I think about holidays and what my favourite baby animals are (I am leaning towards hippos). But most of the time, there's not much of any relevance going on, so I don't need to tune in too often.
However, I suppose when you leave your job, your boyfriend, your friends and your home for the past two and a half years to go and live at your mum's while you mull over your next move, there's bound to be something happening in your brain. It turns out my brain wants to do a nutrition course. I had no idea before I gave it three hours of my time on the train that day. So I have signed up for a long-distance nutrition course (I chose long-distance so I can fit it in around whatever I plan to do to make money) while I wait for my next flash of inspiration. Only, it's difficult to find the time to listen to your brain. It rambles on and on about meaningless rubbish most of the time until it finally spouts something that makes sense. Frankly, I don't have time to listen to its drivel.
Who does? When do any of us have the time to sit down by ourselves with no distractions and just think? I have exercise classes to attend, meals to prepare, shopping to do and people to see. Unless I get stuck on a train again, I don't know how I'm going to find the time. If only a 20-minute shower was enough time for it to get its point across ...
I suppose, for most of us, if it came to an evening of meditation, or a DVD marathon of our favourite series, there will be no contest. The thoughts will still be there tomorrow, right?
I think of my brain as an "in tray" and the longer I leave it, the more work is piling up for me. You would think that being unemployed, I would have a lot of time on my hands to think but it's amazing how busy you can become when you don't want to hear what is going on inside your head.
